The Making of “Airpush Down the Stairs”

Lyrics and music inspired by 2 dreams from 7/27/2019 and 2/19/2020

Written March 2021

The lyrics were inspired by some kind of cartoonish dream where I defeated a robot villain. But now he’s about to die, and something that he needs to live has just fallen into the water. I could go underwater and grab it for him and show him mercy, but I could also just come back up and lie “I couldn’t find it” and let him die. In that dream, the lyrics “I can’t find it, I couldn’t find it” played during a drum solo of a rock song, which was an alternate-universe version of the vocal break during “100%” by Sonic Youth. 

The second half was inspired by a barely memorable dream about pushing a baby stroller down the stairs for some reason, maybe to just get it out of my way. This is where the title “Airpush Down the Stairs” and the lyric “I’m gonna lower the secret baby side / You didn’t notice that I was alive” came from, which I always laughed at as extremely ridiculous. 

I decided to combine these two narratives with an overarching message about how the person in these dreams just isn’t who I really am; I’m not the kind of assertive, selfish person from those dreams. But it also feels like everyone around me is that person. 

Another easy-to-make song without collaborations. The drums were somewhat difficult because I don’t know how to play drums, and I don’t have my drums or recording equipment properly set up. I recorded the vocals both high and low to see which one I liked more, but then I realized that they sounded weird and cool when I put the high and low vocals together -- so that’s what I did. 

I recorded the ending that references “But When I Know Who I Am” before I’d even started the other song, which is why it sounds so weird.