Well, Modern Dances is one of the most confusing Jandek albums I’ve heard so far and that’s saying a lot considering how baffling the man’s entire existence is. I didn’t really know what to expect going into this one. The album cover is apparently from the same day as Blue Corpse, but really this sounds a lot more like Telegraph Melts, Part 2, which is confusing because the album sequence is Telegraph Melts - Follow Your Footsteps (a more normal album) - Modern Dances.
This is similar to Telegraph Melts in that it’s an experimental noise rock album with 3 singers - Nancy, Jandek (not heard as much as the other 2), and the second scary guy who sounds like Jandek. There is a lot of brutal screaming, nonsense guitar work, and really disturbing lyrics (“Twelve Minutes Since February 32’nd”, the biggest WTF song ever). I like some of the disturbing lyrics, and I can pick out a few that were really memorable, especially when some of the songs reach their “narrative peak”, but some other songs also go absolutely nowhere and drag on for REALLY long like “I Painted My Teeth” (“Karl Marx painted his teeth!”), “I Want to Know Why”, and “Nothing Is Better Than God”. The latter of which is somehow my favorite and least favorite song on the album at the same time. The lyrics are a little bit funny and sarcastic at times, but Jandek’s repetition of “GOD GOD GOD GOD!!!” over 13 times is horrible. The ending is one of the shocking memorable moments that I love as Nancy despairingly yells, “I want to love you, God / I want to know God / I want to love you God / I want to be you / Is that wrong? Is that right? / I don’t think there’s anything, God”
Nancy’s parts are definitely the strongest point here. The guys are mostly screaming all their lines randomly and possibly improvising lyrics, but Nancy has some semblance of composition and melody, which are sometimes beautiful and sometimes fittingly ugly. Her vocal solo, “Spiritual Song”, is not bad at all. She also has a funny moment on “Number 512” where it sounds like she’s improvising lyrics, and in the middle of it she’s trying to “discreetly” tell the drummer to change it up.
For the last 3 tracks, Jandek throws us one of the biggest curveballs so far and switches to solo acoustic guitar with Jandek on vocals. These tracks were extremely haunting and I felt like I’d stepped into a completely different dimension or nightmare from the rest of the album. I really like the lyrics on these last songs, which go back to a confessional singer/songwriter style. “Open E” is the first appearance of the lyrics from “I Know the Times” from You Walk Alone.
This is certainly an interesting album in that it’s just jaw-dropping for the majority of its length because of the deathly screaming, spastic instrumentals, and absolute nonsense lyrics. “I Painted My Teeth” is about a man and woman going back and forth yelling at each other to not paint their teeth as a weird sort of sequel to “You Painted Your Teeth” from Telegraph Melts. “Twelve Minutes Since February 32’nd” is about how it’s “February 32nd” and it’s the perfect time of year to murder everyone in sight. What the hell? Modern Dances definitely has the unique raw ferality of Telegraph Melts that you can’t get from any artist other than Jandek, but it’s not nearly as concise or visionary as its predecessor. Also, the instrumentals are really lacking and there's zero "groove factor" or rhythm in any of the songs. The disturbing abrasiveness and complete lack of control and editing on the album makes it just a spectacle instead of a truly enjoyable listen.
5/10
Essential album?: No
Essential songs:
Twelve Minutes Since February 32’nd
Nothing Is Better Than God
Spiritual Song
Open E
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